It has been a nice summer so far but the weather alone has not been sufficient enough to keep me happy in this land of  opportunity. Two trips/week to nearby Indian grocery store which is roughly about 20 miles from where I live is costing me almost half of what I make. "I can not even afford to do Jet Ski anymore", grumbled this half naked Stephanie who had no choice but to talk to me while waiting in line to prepay her gas pump. "Youp..., same here", I nodded in desi style turning my head in almost 180 degree from left to right thinking about the hefty price of Tilda Basmati that I soon had to buy on my way back to my apartment. But, I can not burn tires unlike folks back home. Whats up with that man! I feel like saying "Ye Japan lay paani bata chalni car banawudai cha..banda gara keta ho yo tyre-syre baalna ekkai chhin". It does not matter whoever says what  but I am optimistic about this country ranked no. 1 in our donor list. But oh no!!! I shall not forget our big brother as a chief donor since it has been continuously organizing and hosting all our political meetings at its own cost. "Fu**cking  stupid!! we can not afford to get punked by them all the time, fu**cking stupid!!", I like to mumble every now and then. You  know what! it is the only thing that I can pronounce correctly without relying on my heavy Gorkhey Yaksen. Fu**cking  stupid!!! Accent has it and I feel proud of this.

I remember this Paki roommate of mine telling me "Behanchod! 'F' word say gaali mut day yaar, mujhey thoda offensive lagta  hay. "Infact, it is the part of western culture and if you do hesitate to say,.... dude!! you are gone, no wonder they  suspect you of a part of the sleeper cell", I had my own clarification while construing one of my behonchod SAARC allies. If action speaks louder than words, why would some people find these words so offensive anyway? My fellow desi folks! get used to it, do not get offended by 'F' word. The Caucasian brother whose whole family moved here  from Ireland a decade ago is called an Irish descent while my folks out here are nothing but a group of immigrants. Let me make a statement here...Get offended by this ridiculous statement but not with this beautiful 'F' word. And, please do not dye your natural looking Black hair. It does not matter how expensive it is, when you eat the Tilda Basmati with that half dyed brown hair, it looks odd man. Anyway, who is going to take care of that armpit? No wonder they call you an alien.

Nothing is important to talk about back home either. The king is long gone without any specific demand and the quest for the President is still on with no known solution yet. BTW, why do we need a president to run the country? All we need is a responsible after-hour janitor who knows how to flush the shit away. Am I talking too loud here? Remembering the vicinity, I  recently read an article that they ranked Bhutan as one of the happiest place to live in. Yeah! sure you get to drink as many cups of Yak tea as you want where Chhurpi is the only known commodity and even that too can be hardly traded in Indian currency, what else do you need hun!! Cut the crap out, will ya?

It is mess everywhere and nobody is happy. Tom has been upset for a while because Tammy, the soon to be ex-wife of my co-worker is filing for divorce because she claims that she did not get fresh flowers in last valentine. Pam Anderson, the officially recognized  buxom Blondie is aiming for next relation due to irreconcilable differences with her current fiancée. And at last, the Hollywood sex bomb, Sharron Stone is facing controversy when she commented about some kinda Karma thing over this Tibet  matter. Guess what! The officials in china have already rejected Sharron's representation in some kinda film festival in Beijing.

BTW, how is it like to say 'Karma kicks in you ass', Miss Sexbomb?

 

Jira bro - It's always fun to read yours.
" Anyway, who is going to take care of that armpit? No wonder they call you an alien.""

"All we need is a responsible after-hour janitor who knows how to flush the shit away." hahaha.
 Unfortunately, the only men we've got are suffering from diarrhea and jamming the toilet time and again.

good read.

.LOL Jira dai!

Hillarious read. ha ha ha!! No one can write better sarcasm than you do! You have captured the whole world here. I mean, to go around the world in five paragraph is not a joke!! :-)

It's funny that Desi's find F-word more offensive that the B- word. You reminded me of my one visit to Delhi's Palika Bazaar!

Keep writing! :-)

I agree..nice read....very good flow dude!

ल दामी छ है। अरु नि जाओस।

बरु जीरा गुरुलाई छुर्पि र घिउ हाल्या चियासंग आत्माबोध गर्दै आनन्दी हुने कुरा किन मन नपार्‍या हो? अरु बिकास तेस्तै हो हाम्रो जस्तो मुलुकहरुमा। आध्यात्मिक विकास गरि हाल्छन कि त?

बरु मलाई हिजो मेरो कामको काले साथीले भारतीय संगीतको कुरा गर्‍या - no offense to you but when i listen to that Indian music I feel like I'm meditating. I want to dance, I want to shake my body-- that's why I prefer Mexican reggaeton rey :)

'नेपालको नम्बर वान डोनर जापान, नेताको नम्बर वान डोनर भारत' चै खुब चित्त बुझ्यो।

A breath of fresh air.  My heart skips at least once when I see that Jira has posted his monologue.

Jira, good job there bro.  A lil masala was added to the jira there but the end product was delicious!  Damn, I just had lunch and am craving some curry already!! 

Thanks for the read...Well, as for the "Karma" analogy: What you sow is what you reap...No wonder you're getting the Samsara's good wishes.  Do keep writing.

Jira bro,
           It's always been pleasure to read your monologue. It like a report from the fact finding commission who come up with  'khichadi'.

We are fu@king stupid !!
 

Thanks for your comments and time.

Even it is 20 degree below zero, I think it is cool, I like the way jira made the curry and guess what? curry is not hot , nor salty .. it is perfect .. A perfect for the cold weather and no job at hand ..

Good jira , please prepare more rice and different curries . I really like to taste those . Good work

 Hilarious, and refreshing!