I just found out that my grandfather on my father's side passed away. I cant get hold of my parents. They are probably busy with the cremation. I don't know what are the ritual dietary restrictions that I should follow. I know that salt and meat are out, as is egg. Is there anything else that I should not eat? How long do these restrictions last for. Is there anything else that I should restrict? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Thuldai

Thuldai, I am sorry to hear about your loss.

Is following the old rituals is what you really want to do? Since you don't know about, probably you don't pay whole lot of attention to it in the past.

I hope you don't take it in negative way. You will not be able to do the book way how they do in Nepal also. There are other ways to mourn. How about taking some time off and reflect on what he meant to you, his role to you. 

Sorry for your loss. I was in similar situation few years back. According to our customs, you should follow those restrictions at least 5 days since your a grand son. In my case, I did for 9 days as a respect to my grandmother. Dietary restrictions means you do not consume salt, no any meat products and no onions & garlic. Also, if possible you do not want to eat outside during these days and try to make your own food. I pretty much ate fruits, milk, rice, karela, saag and some ghee during that period.

It sounds tough but it is doable. I would advise you to go ahead and do at least five days. If you feel you can do more, you can carry out till 7 or 9 days. When it gets tough, just keep in mind the things your grandfather did for you and this is the last thing you will ever do for him.

R.I.P

I am sorry to hear about your loss.
According to my knowledge,
-12 DAYS : no salt; no onion; no garlic; no meat; no tomato; 1 meal per day (rice);

I remember that much.

I'd also suggest to follow IDK2013 to take some time off and look back to the past and the memories you spent with him.

May his soul rest in peace !

त्यसो त साझामा ठुल्दाई यही राहुलभाइ लाइ भन्छन क्या र पनि ठुल्दाई ००७ को दुख:द घडी मा समबेदना प्रकट गर्दै केही सुझाव बुँदागत रुपमा राख्दै छु |

१. पहिलो त आफन्तको अबसानमा दुख मनाउ आत्मले गर्ने हो | श्रद्धा भाव देखावटी हुनु हुन्दैन | दुखको बेला हो, कुनै पार्टी भोज उत्सव नगर्नु र सम्झनामा मृतकलाई राख्नु नै ठुलो कुरा हो |

२. खाने कुरा बार्ने सन्दर्भमा भने सक्दो बारे हुन्छ, बाध्यता छैन , आत्म मारी मारी बार्नु अर्को पाप हो | सक्दो भन्नाले मासु अण्डा र पेय पदार्थ | सकिन्छ भने लसुन प्याज र गोलभेडा | तर सबै चिज परदेशमा सम्भव नहुन सक्छ |

३. कति दिन भन्ने सन्दर्भमा परम्परा नै मान्ने हो भने तपाइँ कुन समाजको हो भन्नेमा भर पर्छ | ब्राम्हण क्षेत्री लगायत हिन्दू धर्मालम्बी हो भने १२ दिन सम्म बार्दा फरक नपर्ला | यदि नेवार हुनु हुन्छ भने बौद्ध मार्गी हो भने ७ दिन र हिन्दू हो भने १२ दिन | अन्य जनजाति हो भने तदअनुसार गर्नु होला |

४. फेरी एक पल्ट श्रद्धा भाव भनेको दर्शन हो प्रदर्शन हैन | त्यसैले नसक्ने कुरा देखाउनलाई मार्न गर्नु भनेको ढोंगी हुनु हो | सकिन्छ भने एक मिनेट प्रात कालमा सम्झनुस | उहाँहरुले देखाएको बाटोमा हिड्नुस , मार्ग निर्देशन पालन गर्नुस . त्यहि नै सच्चा श्रद्धान्जली हो |

हार्दिक श्रद्धान्जली ...............

Thank you for your replies.

I understand that it is impossible to follow everything like in Nepal tara je bhaye pani as a mark of respect for Hajurba and our traditions I would like to follow the mukh barne as best as I can. It is hard to do everything like not eat out because that would mean that I would have to bring food from home, which would be difficult.

But thank you for your replies and for your condolences. They really helped me and put things in perspective. 

Thuldai

ठुल्दाई प्रति हार्दिक समबेदना| तर नुन बार्ने सल्लाह चाही दिन्न| किन भने नुन नखानाले रक्तचाप न्यून हुन जान्छ| कैयौ दिन नुन नखानाले शरीरलाइ एक किसिमको स्ट्रेस टेस्ट नै गर्या जस्तो हुन्छ| यो काम चाही नगर्नुस|

एस्तो बेला राजसी , तामसी भोजन त्याग गरि राजोगुनी र सत्यगुनी भोजन गर्नु ठिक मानिन्छ | तेहाको बाह्रौ दिन सम्म मात्र बार्नु होला | लामो समय नुन नखाने हो भने सागसब्जी बाट केहि हद सम्म सट्टा भर्ना हुन् सक्छ : हाम्रो चलनमा सिधेनुंन को प्रयोग गर्न दिन्छन भने नातिले मुख बार्ने भएकोले शरीरले साथ् दिए अनुसार बार्ने हो | राहुलभाइ भन्नु भए झैँ यो श्रद्दा लागि हो |
ठुल्दाई प्रति हार्दिक समबेदना|