one day a person is admitted to mental hospital. His problem is, he used to throw stones to the people with his "GULELI".

after few months, the hospital boys get him to the mental doctor
Doctor : how r you feeling now ?
patient : i am fine. i didn't throw stones to anybody since few months. i think i am ok.
so let me go to my home.
Doctor : i will ask you a question. if you answered right then i will let you go to your
home.
Patient: sure.
Doctor : if i gave you 10 rupees then what will you do with that money ?
Patient : hmmmmm. i will buy a "GULELI" and throw stones to all the people in this
hospital.
Doctor : Nosssssssss. He is not well yet. keep him for few more months in this hospital.

After few months.

Doctor : how r you feeling now ?
patient : i am fine.
Doctor : ok. you answer me one question and then you may go back to your home.
Patient: sure.
Doctor : if i gave you 100 rupees then what will you do with that money ?
Patient : hmmmmm. i will buy a wheel of a bicycle.
Doctor : great !. seems you are getting well. then what will you do with that wheel ?
Patient : i will break the wheel and get its tyre inside it .
Doctor : why ?
Patient : so that i can make a "GULELI" and throw stones to people.
Doctor : oh nossssssssssss. He is not ok till now. let him kepp here for few more months.

after few months.

Doctor : its been a long time you are here in hospital. now, how are you feeling.
Patient : i am feeling well . now i think i am almost ok and want to go back to my home.
Doctor : sure. i will let you go to your home. but you have to answer my one question.
if i gave you 10,000 Rs. what will you do with that money?
Patient : i will marry a beautiful girl.
Doctor : great. you are thinking of getting married. Then what will you do ?
Patient : i will go for Honeymoon.
Doctor : then .... (doctor is getting excited to hear about his honeymoon)
Patient : i wll remove her upper clothes.
Doctor : then.... (doctor getting more and more curious to hear about his honeymoon)
Patient : i will remove her "Sari"
Doctor : then.....
Patient : i will remove her panties
Doctor : ohhhhh. then...................ssss
Patient : i will make "GULELI" from her panties and throw stones to her with that
"GULELI"

I read this joke and man I can't help myself....I got to post it here man........

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Santa Singh is sitting on a rather empty train across from a good looking girl wearing a tight mini skirt.

Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The girl realises he is staring and asks, 'Are you looking at my pussy?'

'Yes, I'm sorry,' says Santa and promises to avert his eyes.

'It's quite alright,' replies the woman, 'It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you.'

Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.

Santa, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.

'I can also make it wink,' says the woman. Santa stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.

'Come and sit next to me,' suggests the woman, patting the seat. Santa moves over.

The woman is now visibly horny and asks Santa, 'Would you like to push a couple of your fingers in?'

Stunned, Santa replies, 'What! Can it whistle, too?'

hahahahhahhhahah.......really great, keep it up dude.

One more:

An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.

The mother asks the daughter, 'What are you doing naked?'

The daughter responds, 'This is the dress of love.'

When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.

When her husband arrives, he asks her, 'What are you doing naked?'

She responds, 'This is the dress of love.'

'Well,' he says to her, 'go iron it.'

What the heck,,one more before I go:

A high society woman from Mumbai decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends one lakh rupees and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32', the clerk replies.

'I'm actually 47,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonalds and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, 'I'd guess about 29'. The woman replies, 'Nope, I am 47.'

Now she is feeling really good about herself. While waiting at the airport, she notices an old man, Santa Singh the same question. He replies, 'I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel you. Then I can tell exactly how old you are.'

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

Santa Singh slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around.

After a couple of minutes she says, 'Okay, Okay, how old am I?'

Santa removes his hands and says, 'You are 47.'

Stunned the woman says, 'That is amazing. How did you know?'

Santa Singh replies, 'I was behind you in line at McDonalds.'

ok, great
here's from my collection of sms..s but in hindi so pliz don't mind and enjoy.

#1 Maut aur tatti, kabhi bhi aa sakti hain.
#2 Saamp aur chut, jahaan bhi milen maar do.
#3 Zindagi aur jhaant uljhe hue hain, use suljhane ki koshish mat karna.
#4 Samay aur chutiya, sab ka kat ta hain.
#5 Achi piyo kharab piyo, jab bhi piyo sharaab piyo.
#6 Paani aur land, apna rasta khud dhoondh lete hain.
#7 Beewi aur gaadi, doosre ko doge to chud kar hi wapas ayenge.
#8 Sardar aur suwar ke bachche, chote hi achche lagte hain.
#9 Doodh aur gaand, jab phatthe hain to aawaaz nahi aati.
#10 Rocket aur tharak, aadmi ko kahin bhi le jaa sakte hain.
#11 Choochiyaan aur jazbaad, jitne dabaao utne hee ubharte hain.
#12 Jhaante aur koylaa, hameshaa sulagte rahte hain.
#13 Tootee(tap) aur lauda, hamesha tadey rehtey hain.
#14 Tattey(Auntey, Gotey) jitnaa bhi uchhal lein, rahenge hameshaa laude ke
neeche hee!
#15 Ladki kitni bhi lambi ho, mutegi to baith ke hi.
#16 Land ko kitna bhi jhadkao, aakhri boond undi mein hi girti hai.
#17 Chut chahe jitni bhi choudi ho jaye, marni to Lund se hi padegi.
#18 Choochiyaan aur khaini, jitna ragdoge utna hi majaa ayega.
#19 Chut aur Daaru, kabhi bhee jhooti nahi hoti hain.
#20 Kutte ko mootne ke liye aur Ladki ko chudne ke liye, taang uthani hi
padti hai.

#21 Chut aur Bhut, Kismat walon ko hi dikhte hain.
#22 Naan aur Kutte ka lauda, andar jakar hi phoolte hain.
#23 Lohe par Hathoda aur Chut par Loda, tabhi maro jab garam ho.
#24 Ladki aur Audio cassete, dono side se bajaana chahiye.
#25 Exam ki taiyari mein ek ghanta aur daaru mein ek peg, hamesha kum rahte
hain.
#26 Chut saal mein do hi baar maro, ek jis din baarish ho aur doosre us din
jab baarish na ho.
#27 Lund aur Ghamand, dono ko kaabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai.
#28 Baagi aur mamme , jahan bhee mile , masal dene chahiye.
#29 Samay se pahle aur Kismat se achhi chut, na kisi ko mili hai,na milegi.
#30 Jab kismat mein likhe ho lode, to kahan se milenge pakode.
#31 adami aur chuha hamesha ched ki taraf bhagta hai
#32 baasi choot aur purana akhbaar, jahan dikhe faad do!
#33 hari jhandi aur randi ko dekte hi bhaag lo!
#34 musibat aur land kabhi bhi khada ho sakta hai!
#35 Naukari aur gaand sabki lagti hai.
#36 Kamaan se nikala Teer jitna tez ho, aur Gand se nikali paad jitni dhire
ho utani hi asardar hoti hai!
#37 Kamaan se nikala Teer aur gaand se nikla goo kabhi vapas nahin aata hai
#38 Jaban aur land dono me haddi nahi hoti!
#39 Nayee chut ka maza nau din tak hota hai!
#40 Admi kitna bhi gora ho, land baki badan se kala hi hota hai!
#41 Dusri naukari aur dusri aurat hardam achi hi lagti hai!
#42 Stree se aayu, purush se aay (income) aur sardar se kabhi time nahi
puchhana chahiye!
#43 Bhajan, Bhojan aur Chodan hamesha ekaant main karne chahiye.
#44 Chut, Boot aur Rangroop ko jitna ragdoge utni hi chamak aayegi.
#45 Chut, Chuchi aur Chilam jitni bhi pio kabhi Jhuti nahin hoti.
#46 Maango usi se jo de khushi se aur kahe na kisi se.
#47 Jab bhi mile akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli, saheli nahin to apni
Hatheli.....but have sex daily.
#48 Kismat aur gaand kabhi bhi aur kahin bhi mar sakti hai.
#49 Ladai aur chudai mein sab jaayaj hai.
#50 Bahen ke lavdon, gaand mein dum hai to pachaasva khud bana lo.

ahhhhhh....more dude.

sorry friends !
we should stop this thread right now.
i think we are going beyond the limit.