Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. 
  
His doctor says,  "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself.... Virginity Test Kit.... a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."     
  
Paddy asks,  "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"                                                           
  
  The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.   
  
If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...", you hit her with the shovel.'

here is some joke which i think might be interesting to you guys.........

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. Soon they were all getting married. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send her a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Brazil two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Paris a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her second daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in London. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Mom fainted...

It was funny Viceroy 

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Mundre is checking out of a hotel when
suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his
room
isn't working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men's Room,
but all
of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room,
and in
desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and takes a
shit
in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in the pot and
leaves. Two
weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that says,



"Dear Mr. Mundre... All is forgiven. Just tell us...where
it
is?"

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play.

He tells her, “No. These are for boys.”

The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face.

The little boy angrily points to his boy’s bike and says, “Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!”

But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, “Look, only boys have these and your mom can’t buy you one!”

The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, “My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want.”

good one dhawse...
here's mine
There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a ***** house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I'm not leaving until I do." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no. He said,"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want!" Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and that damn milkman is the son-of-a-bi**tch who ran over my FROG!!!."

a girl is in sunday school and falls asleep.the nun asks her "who died
for our sins?" the girls friend pokes her in the neck with a penicl,
the girl jumps and yells "JESUS!" the nun replies-"correct". a few
minutes later the girl dozzes off again,the nun asks "Who waited 3 days
and risen from the grave?" the girls friend pokes her with a penicl and
the girl jumps and yell "JESUS!" the nun replies-"correct" a few more
minutes later, the girl falls asleep again and the nun asks "what did
eve said to adam in the garden?" the girls friend pokes her with the
pencil and the girl jumps up and yells "if you poke me with that thing
one more time, im gonna ripe it off!!"

ktg wasn't it supposed to be Milkman.. N'way nice one bro.. Love this Thread

One day a young just married couple were driving in their audi TT. Their names were Harder (male) and [Disallowed String for - bad word] Me (female). 

Harder and [Disallowed String for - bad word] me needed some cash, so they stopped at a local bank. Harder 
ran in to the ATM while [Disallowed String for - bad word] Me waited in the car.

A strange man with an obvious giant boner walks up to the window and says "Hi, whats your name?" and she answers "[Disallowed String for - bad word] Me". So he says "Ok" and gets in the car and screws her.

She starts screaming "Harder Harder Harder!!!" And then he says "Lady I can't [Disallowed String for - bad word] that hard!"

the Disallowed String for the above thread will be F**ck

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, and asks for a turkey on her right inner thigh and a Christmas Tree on my left inner thigh. 

The tattoo guy looks at her and says, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you want those tattoos in those spots?" 

The woman looks at him and replies, "My husband is always complaining he has nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

another one for the day...........

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick".

Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".

On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "[Disallowed String for - bad word]" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.

Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen [Disallowed String for - bad word]ing the turkey!

HAHHAHAHAHA

seems like u posted ur own pic walkahead , is that right ;-)

nice ones viceory and ktg bro   

One day, little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see,  his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong. Mikey watches, and after a couple of minutes asks, “Daddy, can I climb on your back and have a horsy ride?” “Of course, Son, we re a family.” So Mikey climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly. “Hang on Dad!”, cries Mikey, “this is where me and the mailman usually fall off!”

Here is one for today

An old couple in an old folks home are having an affair, nothing much they just sit watching TV late at night while the old woman holds the old mans dick. Then suddenly the old man ends the affair because of another woman. The old woman’s distraught and yells, “What’s THIS OTHER WOMAN GOT THAT I HAVEN'T!” The old man smiles and says, “Parkinson’s disease”

TGIF folks

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “OK, I m a prostitute.”. “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”. “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”

Here is one from my side....

one more

finally.............