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Posted on 03-20-10 9:05 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. 
  
His doctor says,  "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself.... Virginity Test Kit.... a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."     
  
Paddy asks,  "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"                                                           
  
  The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.   
  
If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see...", you hit her with the shovel.'
 
Posted on 06-14-10 4:07 PM     [Snapshot: 27417]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.


"Yeah teach?" he replies.


"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.


Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."


"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.


"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"


The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."


Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
 


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