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Nirman
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Posted on 01-18-05 1:29
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Hey all sajhaietes, I have written a piece from my side. Can you Please read it and comment from ur side. If u want to read more..please post it I will continue it a series...I promise with twist and turns...:-)...anyways Write comments and U may share ur writings too....No boundaries... here is a piece from me.. LOVE: UNSPOKEN It was Friday. I still lied there still awake...Homework to be finished. Homework never fascinated me, the only reason I did it was to escape from the punishments. Also I have to finish it now, tomorrow we were to shift apartment. With my father working as whole-timer in a Communist Party at that Panchayet era, there was frequent change of places for us and continuous change of friends. With homework finished, I went to bed? there was whole new day ahead. Strange eyes were peering into us as we transferred our goodies into our new dwelling. We were used to it with so much of shifting places. But I still remember those hazel eyes watching me as if I were a prince from Caribbean. There was much more works to do rather than watching back to those eyes, rooms to be cleaned and set up. She was our flat partner's daughter. We were in other words next door neighbors. I think she was 7-8 in those days, I exactly don't know, never asked. After she saw me the first thing she told her parents was that she would marry me someday. With her mother so much chit chatter, the marriage thing was now widespread all over the flat within 2 days. With myself being only 11 years at that time, I was so irked by the fact of marriage. My entire cousin soon knew about this and my marriage was gossip of the town, and I simply hated her for loving me. My cousins would tease me every time I meet them, which irritated me more. She used to come to talk with me; I would irritate her with my gawky voice whenever she came near me. I was petrified of gossip of marriage. I would confine myself whole day in my room on holidays rather than to talk with her. She was only friend available within the community but I was rather reluctant to speak with her moreover to be friend. It was raining that day, I was just watching the drops of rain falling on the ground, wanting to go and get wet in rain but afraid that mom would scold. I didn't notice her but next thing I knew was she was just sitting next to me. "Rainy day, huh??" she started the conversation. "No, a sunny one, with sunlight everywhere." I started my mission. "Do you like to get wet on the rain??" She asked. "But where is the rain?" same gawky voice. "I always like to play in the rain, it is so much fun." She stood up, and walked toward the rain, without even being irritated with my replies. "That is what I also want to do" my inner soul told to me. Without even caring of mom's tough rebuke, I also ran toward rain. Next thing I knew was we were playing in the rain, carefree and like flower children, the children of nature. We were all wet, all covered with the mud and all dirty, but who cared when one can have so much fun. That night I was thoroughly scolded by my mom. But that day, a friendship started, not to end I thought.
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-18-05 1:28
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Wel thanks for ur comments Shristi je...will post more sooner...aabo dherai lambe taan gardina..thinking of ending it...just getting the right words to conclude the ending better...Keep posting... Nirman..;-)
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Ardent
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Posted on 03-18-05 9:32
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Nice episodes again Nirman...and u r telling to end it ....common the story is just beginning ...and SRISTI...ohhhhhhh...what can i say....i feel like jumping off the Eifel tower ..... with a parachute which bears the name SRISTI....he he he....and ya u can take time to know me...i can wait forever for that handkerchief and "JADU KI JHAPPI"...he he he ...and i am honoured by ur saying S+A (ur style of saying he he he ) .....and u wan't my real name...ohhh for that S+A...i would change my name to Ardent...just for u ....he he he ...and ya i am again honoured to make ur day....he he he
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harkedai
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Posted on 03-18-05 9:40
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Nice story nirman broda. Yeti chadai nai end garna laako. OK I will be waiting for a nice ending then.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-18-05 1:19
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fever!!laa hey bhagwan k bhayo timilai?!dhami bolaunu jam...ramro dhami ako cha re pallo gau ma:P ..timilai sachikai fever bhako ho bhane may be due to cold hola.tato tato luga lagaunu ,soup khanu nii yasto jado ma pani muscle dekhayera hero bannu parcha katti samjhaunu chiso lagcha bhanera:Ptake care and get well soon. Hahaha, Ruina tweets, perhaps muscles dekhayera nai hola :( .. Darn it was bad. Anyways m almost aiight ;), courtesy @ your prathana (pakkai garyo hola ni :P) & your "what to do when you have ....101". Anyways, wassup. Miched meh ?? :P LOL. Ok, don't even say, I know. ( Re Kya ;)) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nirman bro, Nayt, but thanks. ( Editor ko offer ko barema) And regarding "maile dahaa garne arule maan parayo bhanera", let me make it clear. I also like your writing. I have expressed it numerous tyams. If you'd like to hear it again, here it is. You writing i.e this story is awesome. I mean it. :) I was merely expressing that this phrase "For that smile of hers, I would have killed anybody " was a lil cheesy, in otherwise intese, spellbinding story. Of your hundreds of phrases in your charming story, I pointed at one line, but am sorry, my bad. From now on, I'd make sure to express only "tariff". Sorry. As a regular reader from my many praises, you only saw a small opinion, expressed solely for the sake of it, without any "dahaa", irsiya or otherwise. And yeah, Enjoyed your double doses. I am waiting in anticipation of a intese climax. Pardon my audacity for I have a gut feeling that the ending will a bitter sweet. Let me leave at that. ( Make no mistake, "feri wahh mero story ma timile climax guess garne.. blah blha bhanla, It is the quality & serenity of the story that has made me think about it even after I am done reading it. Feri artha ko anartha niklela. Aru ke bhanau hajurlai. Namaskar :). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ardent bro & Sristi, hehe, nice going. Joke bhanda bhanda dil ma "poke" gardeu ki kya ho Ardent bro. LOL. Aiight laterz, In jest, IndisGuise:)
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-18-05 9:24
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message for indi: hey bro..was just kidding man...think it got into ur heart...u always have been a great critics of mine..and when u said that line was little cheesy, i also felt somewhat like that...in fact i made some changes in my copy of story too...but regarding my saying"maile dahaa garne arule maan parayo bhanera"...well sristi said she loved that lineand u said u didn't and i was just pulling ur leg...my sincere apologies if i have done something wrong....well for ending...keep guesiing bro...ani bro i sure liked ur writings, so just hoped u will do some cuts and editing in my piece...but u said no....damn....my bad luck...:-P... well thats all for now, keep posting, Nirman...
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Sristi
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Posted on 03-20-05 12:49
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Nirman ji and indisguise ji; Please stop playing the words war..LOL... I liked that sentence a lot for sure and if indisguise ji felt a lil cheesy, it is fair enough for him to say that. So Niramn ji from my prospective, i would love to read such phrases in your new episodes, it just add some spice to the story. And ARDENT............OHHHHHHHHHHHH how about we both jumping off the EIFEL tower in the same parachute which bears the name A+S...LOL...and if you really meant it for waiting forever, then i won't keep you waiting forever..but just few months may be before i got to know you by person.. what do you think...chatting??? And i would love to call you ARDENT but still i am curious to know your name. You said somewhere you got the STXC spirit right?? and if i am not mistaken " i feel like jumping off the Eifel tower " i heard that somewhere in STXC..just curious.. ARDENT got my point??
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Ardent
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Posted on 03-20-05 8:34
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Hey hey hey hey SRISTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.....my godddddddddddddddddd..............that is UUUUUUUUU....i am stumped....i am bowled over........he he he he for weeks i have been talking to who is supposed to be the original aishwarya......STXC...uffffffff...i was just guessing a bit if that were UUUUU....ya i got ur point.....now for sure i won't let u to log off out of my mind, heart ....he he he ....u still remember those !!!!! ahhh.....i am out of world...he he he...and now i am sure that mail was from UUUUUUUUU..........Right??
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-21-05 1:59
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Nirman bro, I guess my previous response was lil sour than I meant it to be. Please take this note as an apology if it caused any inconvenience to you. And also, the reason why I excused myself from "do(ing) some cuts and editing in (your)piece..." aka "editing" is, I deem myself as unqualified for the job & i did not mean any disrespect. Also,it is getting increasingly difficult for me to spend as much tyam as I used to in sajha. Ke garne alik garoo bhairako cha kaam ma. Having said that, let me as well add that, if you'd allow me, I shall however, every now and then, drop few words in response to your story. I guess that sets us straight. No hard feeling broda :). And am eagerly waiting for your next post. Take care. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looks like Ardent & Sristi ko yaha "Love: Spoken" huna lagirako cha. Hmmmm also it seems like there is more than what meets the eye. lu ta Ardent & Sristi "bol bol" ke ho kahani? ;) Anyways, have fun "keta kati haru ho". Laterz. Ohh yeah, How ya doin tweets :). Kaha ho tum, Muje awaaaj dooo. Hehe... maan ma halchal bhairako cha timro boli nasunera ;). In Jest, IndisGuise:)
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-21-05 8:41
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Hey Indi bro, No har dfeelings yaar....I think it is thikai as it is..hoina?? aany ways Ard bro and Sristi...keep u ...heheheheh..here is another two parts...jammai post garna laageko space chhaina re...(6500 word limit re) ************************************ That confusion lasted for more than two months or so, it kept me disturbed most of the time, and more I tried to forget it, it would thump my minds even more. In between those times, maybe she was also embarrassed too much; I didn?t see her most of time and whenever I would see her, she would just run away. I missed her company though, I missed staring at those stars together, I missed seeing her smiles, I missed her company and I was foolish enough not even to speak with her even when I knew she loved me. Soon enough, the first terminals were there to hit us, and this time I had zeal to prove something. But the course of the class nine was to be covered also and it was hard enough for me to cover all those subject of nine (remember, class nine was just fun for me? ;-). But I tried my best and result showed it. I had not reached the height my mom had expected for, but I scored one of the highest marks in the mathematics, other subject hold dashing marks too. Seeing the mark sheet that time, my mom had spark of belief in her eyes. She was not satisfied of the results though, but she believed I could do better than that and I was happy to get that belief from my mom. In between the tough time I had during the exams, I almost forgot the emotional turmoil I was going through before. But as soon as I saw her after those exams, the turmoil gasped my mind once again and it was too hard for me to conclude my self. At times I would feel like, ?God!!! I am in love? while at others I would be like ?Am I in love???? I was confused and wasn?t that determined enough to find out the solution to my confusion. I even once bought a card to give it to her, but couldn?t find enough courage to give it to her, courage couldn?t be paid for. The card remained, inside one of my comics, just to gather dust. As they say, ?With time, it heals everything?, the confusion didn?t remain in my mind forever (It hit harder than before later on though). I tried to get suggestion from Pee. ?Oyee, malai tension paryo yaar. (hey, I m in tension?)? ?K bho?? (What happened??)? ?I am dead confused. Am I in love or not malai thaha chhaina yaar. Tension huna thalyo, yaar? I tried to explain. ?M*$i, maan dherai dulayera faaida chhaina, man parchha bhane khurukka gayera bhande, man pardaina bhane chupa laagera birside, bekaar ma tension liyera pheri mom ko kutai khaalas?? he said sarcastically, if I was going ruin my study with all this. Determined after hearing his words to forget everything about love and confusion, I came back home that day. ************************************ For a month or two, I avoided her most of time, and maybe of all those embarrassments, she also had avoided me so far. I was concentrating on my studies now. The times would pass, listening to FM stations, recording the songs I like, practicing math (Geez!!! I loved math so much), and I avoided that roof top for more than month. I was scared to see her again, and I was not sure about myself too. I would rather confine myself in my room, or spend holidays at Pee?s place. That night, I had returned home late at evening, spending the whole day at Pee?s place. When I reached home, mom was busy making dinner. ?K k gaaris ta Pee ko ma??? She inquired. ?Yeso combine study aani ekchhin ghumna gaayen.? I replied, although it was less combine study and more roaming around, ?Ye bhusukkai birseko, maathi baata kapada sukayeko uuthayera le ta, jhandai birseko.? There was nobody else around to do the job, and I had to go anyway. While I was collecting the clothes there, I saw her at the next end of the roof. She was busy with some writings. I totally ignored her and went downstairs collecting the clothes. Curiosity grasped my minds as I tried to concentrate on my study late that night. With all my efforts to study going in vain, I just went upstairs to see if she was still there, but couldn?t find her. Else I found a dairy of hers, pages turned open with the mild breezes. I just went there, and took that diary onto my hands. The letters written on that page simply caught my eyes, and I gazed over them for a long time. Although I don?t remember the exact words but it was written in Nepali somewhat like: ?Maybe I care more than I need to, maybe I want to get loved, maybe he doesn?t love me though but right now I just wish the things are just like before?just a wish?? I couldn?t think of what to do. I just left that diary just there as it was, left there and went downstairs. That night, mesmerized in my thoughts, I couldn?t sleep till mid night. I didn?t know what to do, but I wasn?t ready enough to fall in love (Maybe she was always there, and for me she was taken as granted), and scared enough to miss her. I tried to analyze the words written, but couldn?t find any conclusion from the words, and at last conclude myself to keep the things as it was, take everything easily and carry on with the life as it was before. Next evening, I just went to the rooftop, and she was right there as always. I just went and sit silently next to her. All the embarrassments were gone now, and she smiled at me. I smiled back. I saw a kind of satisfaction, a kind of mesmerism in that smile. I thought she must have taken that easily too, and there we were together once again to let the things as it were before, to let the time flow, as we gazed through thousands of stars. ************************************
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-21-05 8:43
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Another one: ************************************ Back at school, we were as now getting hard hits of SLC fever. The Pre-test were there to hit us soon and we had to read whole of Class 8, 9 and 10 books. It was just a big bunch of studying for us those days. Pee was thinking of getting some Math tuitions and asking me if I wanted to join him. I had myself improved a lot on the mathematics, and I convinced him for the combine study until the pre-test and later on tuitions for Test or SLC. He was convinced enough and Pee and I would practice together the mathematics at my place or his. I would keep the tapes running while practicing which would disturb my parents. I had to find a solution to this problem and later on I found out one too. I had a cousin who had rented a room near the place we were living. He was going home for some months so somehow I got the key to his room. We would have dinner at our home and he would come to mine after dinner at his place. Then after, we would pack our books and notes, and would go to my cousin?s room buying some Wai-Wai as snacks on the way for late night stays. We would practice till the late. It was fine until one late night, someone knocked at door. Surprised, we watched at our watch, it was already 10:30. Scared we didn?t open the door for three or four knocks. ?Bhitra ko chha??? A ladies voice called from outside. ?Bahira ko??? We rather interrogated, scared hell enough, remembering of the all the kichkanya?s tale we had heard. ?Ma maathi ko gharbeti ko chhori.? Our breathe come out to life. Silently we opened the door. ?Ye bhai haaru po??, then she added, ?Dai khoi ni?? ?Ghar jaanubhayeko chha, aabo ek dui mahina aaunu hunna!!? I concluded myself as fast as I could. She went away. I hadn?t felt it other way, but Pee added. ?Tero dai ko deewana jasto chha?hehehehehehehe?. She was too much fat, and later I found out a she also had a son but didn?t knew anything about the husband. She wasn?t kind of woman my cousin would go for. (Later my cousin told me that she had been hunting for him since he had taken that room, but with no other rooms around, He was kinda majboor) But Pee and I would have rather many jokes related to that woman. We would tease each other saying ?Oyee talai tyo man parchha jasto chha ni?jack sack laayera milaidiun? Another time, I had gone to Pee?s place for combine study, and this time Mohan had also came there. As they say ?Laato desh ma Gaado tanneri? I had become kind of genius in mathematics and after practicing till about 10:30, I rather went to sleep. It wasn?t long before, I felt my eyes burning. Rubbing my eyes, I was wide awake. More I rubbed my eyes, more burning grew. Mohan and pee were there laughing, with Vicks in their hands. ?Sutaunla bhanthyo, hehehehehehehehe? Laughter made me even more angrier, but to stop burning I ran toward tap. And splashed water in my eyes till the burning stopped. Back I came to room, and gathered all my belongings, and was going out of room, just then Pee spoke. ?Baato ma Kichkanya le samtala hai, baato ma maaris bhaane hamailai nasamaatoss, yeso yeuta chitthi lekhera jaa, maren bhane Pee ra Mohan jimmewaar chhaina bhanera?.heheheheheh? I couldn?t stop my laughter. And I got scared too. I stayed there at Pee and sooner went to sleep once again leaving Pee and Mohan practicing all night, not to be awakened by Vicks Vaporub again. Next morning, Mohan became Pee and mine victim for sleeping late till morning. It was all fun. Those were the days, carefree and fun filled. ************************************
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-21-05 8:45
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And Here ends my story, hope u all like it, don't hesitate to post comments: ************************************ The Pre- test came and went, and soon test would be there to hit us harder than Pres. This time, Pee and I took up tuition of the mathematics. Most of time at tuitions, I would take the practice sheets from our Guruba and practice all kinds of questions he had. I had maintained myself a high profile as a learner there, always one step ahead of all the others. While other would be busy learning, I would be busy practicing myself(I was proud of myself, never got to be so proud later on though?;-)?Pee had bought a new 15 gear bicycle and we would go to tuitions on that bicycle. We would have tuitions late in the evenings and we would normally come home late. Due to some reasons (I don?t know the exact reasons), our science course hadn?t yet been completed yet. It was fine till the test as test would be taken by our own school, but for SLC we had to cover it too, and just for that sake we had to search for Science tuition teacher. We were running here and there just to find one fine science teacher, but before we could find one the sent up test was already there to hit us. Pee and I did pretty well at Sent-up test. Usually, it would be tough, as the test would mean cut off for not so good students, but I had reached a 70% marks, and in both mathematics, I had hit 90% marks, I was mere more happy than I could be. After tests, we once again searched for teacher, and finally found a good one. But the problem was he would take the tuition class only at 6:00 in the mornings and would take the class continuously for 2 hours only for 2 weeks. We were happy that we got chance to get those tuitions. But at those tuitions, I didn?t understood most of lectures, as I would normally doze off in the final half periods of two hours. But we sure got some of valuable notes, which helped in SLC. In between these times, she and I had limited times together. Sometimes, I would just see her passing through the corridor, at times when I would go on rooftop just to get some fresh air, and sometimes I would just leave my studies and all just to be with her at rooftops, just to be together. The exams of the SLC had started now, and the Iron Gate odyssey was coming to an end. Pee and I hadn?t watched movie for more than 2 months for now, and on each day walking down the Ranibari route to go to exam centre, we would plan about watching the newest flicks in the town. On the way we would sing ?Ghar se nikalte hi, Kucch door chalte hi, Raste mein hai uska ghar, Kaal subaah dekha to, Baal banati woh?, eve teasing a girl, who would sit by the window whenever we would cross her home. The exams were better than before, and I was more than happy of performing it well. After the exams, I had made myself a promise of ending the void of words in between her and me, but lesser did I knew about the fate?s destiny for us two. ************************************ The exam has ended for me, but she had gone to her Aunt?s home for her Min Pachaas holidays. I was willing to talk with her this time, but she was nowhere around. Then struck the lightening, which was bound to hold us apart. My parents had been planning to move the place, as the apartment was becoming small for us, and my cousin was also planning to stay with us. Only that day did I know about their plan. ?Oyee chhora, aabo haami sarne hola yo hapta ma!!!? mom said to me. Dumbfounded, I stood there senseless as if hit by a thunderbolt. ?Kahaan?? Kina??? I fired the question, surprisingly. ?Aali tadha nai chha, Kalanki tira, Aasti nai bhanaula bhaneko tanlai, tero jaanch bhayekole nabahneko, aabo yo thaun pani sano bhayo, tero prakash dai pani sangai basne re, aani aabo hamilai pani kotha chahiyo ni aali badhi tehi bhayera?? I couldn?t hear any more words than that; different thoughts came haunting my mind. I saw, all my plans going down my drain, I saw, she and I separated million miles apart, I saw, hanging out with Pee would be distant dreams as we would now be living at two poles of Kathmandu. Desire of meeting her went berserk, and I wanted to at least see her badly before I left the place. Next day, I went to Pee?s place to meet him, and he told me about his plan of going to trekking in between those holidays. I told him about our changing places. We talked and watched movies on the Star Plus whole day. We separated that day, promising to keep in touch and meet later. Back at home, I spent most of time either safekeeping my goodies into boxes or packing the clothes or either spending most of time lonely at the rooftop, listening to all the songs played in FM station. Days passed and soon enough the detested day was tomorrow. Tomorrow morning we were leaving the place for our new home. I had almost lost all the hopes of meeting her, but that day she came back from her Aunt?s place. I was happy to see her back again. And I promised at least I will say some words to her. Late that evening, I went to rooftop hoping to meet her there. But there was no one. I would have waited forever, but forever ended after about an hour. She must have heard about us leaving the place. I had never seen her eyes so sad before, I had seen pain, I had seen happiness, I had seen joy, but never that sadness. I tried to open my mouth to say some words, but words were hard to find. I had no courage left to look into those eyes again; rather we stayed silently next to each other for moment. I wanted to tell her I will miss her, but missing would be the word incomplete, I wanted to tell her, her company had always given me immense solace, but word wasn?t enough. Just the silence spoke in between us. ?Iruu? Someone was calling her downstairs. ?Haajur Mami? She replied. ?Kaati maathi matra gairakhchha, tala aaija ta? her mom called her downstairs. I would have stayed there with her whole night but there were boundaries. She went away from me, and she didn?t turn back, she had tears in those hazel eyes which she didn?t want to show, I could see us separating apart then. I may have stopped her, but I choose to let her go. She just went away from me farther and farther. ************************************ Next morning, we were busy transporting our goodies into the truck. I searched for those hazel eyes, but couldn?t find them anywhere around. There were other neighbors though telling us to keep in touch, and all other things. I just wished to see the hazel eyes once again, but it had gone away now. As soon as all the belongings were loaded, Mom and dad told me to go on the truck. They would be coming through bus later on. They had some other things to take care of. I didn?t wanted to leave place without seeing her, but my parents told me there must be someone to help my cousin to unload and I couldn?t resist. I just went and climbed up into the truck and sat along the goodies. The truck roared into life, and slowly began to move. My only wish came true, just at the moment. I could see her by the gate, and happy I was to see her. But the truck had gained its momentum now; we began drifting apart more and more. The dust rose to blur the vision, and at distance I saw her waving her hand, I raised my hand to wave goodbye, right then the truck took the turn and I couldn?t see her anymore. But she is still in my memories till date, the reminiscence never to be erased. I lost the contact for more than 3 years or so, and once I went to her place with my cousin, but merely that become just a hello to her family, and we were just like strangers. But I learned many things from our memories, and she taught me my first lesson of love, the basics to travel through the odyssey of love. I learned from her, to love someone, you love him/her without wanting anything in return, Love is all about how much can you give rather than how much you get. She taught me, when you love someone, you just want your loved one to be happy always no matter what cost you have to bear. We learnt together, when you love someone, feelings work rather than flow of thousand false and ?not meant? words, the love has its own language which sparks into life when the ?true love? is around. I missed that kind of company all the years through, and when I loved someone later on I tried my best to give my love everything that I learned from her. Then only I came to know, when you love someone, you will give him/her everything you have, only wanting his/her LOVE in return. And whenever I remember her, I just hear Roxette singing in the background ???It must have been love, But it?s over now, It must have been good, But I lost it somehow??? I know now, she was first love of my life, LOVE that I failed to recognize; LOVE: Unspoken. ******************************The Starting******************************
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-21-05 8:47
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Hey friends please replace ??? with " hai...
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Sristi
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Posted on 03-21-05 11:38
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Nirman ji , I don't have words to praise for these last postings but it was kindda sad to see the end of the story; it was truely LOVE: Unspoken. Anyway you found someone later; good for you. I hope to read more writings from you in near future in this Sajha forum. Best of luck!!!! And also i must thank you coz. it is in your thread where i met a sweet & humorous guy Ardent,a friend of goodest smiles....the guy with whom i had more of staring than talking in STXC..now after long time i found him here..and it seems this is the starting of new story once again!!!!!!!!!! And indisguise ji ...you said "Looks like Ardent & Sristi ko yaha "Love: Spoken" huna lagirako cha" Hmmmm also it seems like there is more than what meets the eye..." well i don't know about Love:unspoken or more than what meets the eye or like that but ya there is definately a bond of friendship..a friendship that began at STXC...and back once again after a long gap (3 years!!!!) . Ardent @ N................ is the most caring friend i would ever find !!!! Thanx Ardent for the reply of that Mail !!!
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Nirman
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Posted on 03-22-05 2:42
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WEll thank u sristi ji.....And hope u have nice friendship in Mr. Ardent ji...and for me m still single...now its time for me to give....;-)....anyways have fun ppl... Lots of luv, Nirman
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Dananah
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Posted on 03-22-05 3:43
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nirman ji hehe...dyam the ending...well have to say hopefully this isnt the end :o).....but well been kinda readn and well...kinda speechless...hehee...esp when ur ended it with... "LOVE: Unspoken" :o) now balla alikiti thaha payo...why the title of the thread was such ;o) hehe... 3yrs gap lai laat marrooo ;oP...well guess thats reality :o)....anyways...hehe cheers again...hope to read more of ur writings :o)...for now i better get back to me notes wahhahaa..enuf distraction...tho it was a good one ;o)..hehe... have fun.. danny ps ardent bhai yo dai ko support cha ;oP hehe...coincidence aint in jaha pani 3 yrs gap hehe..;oP...
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dreamz05
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Posted on 03-22-05 6:54
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Nirman... Great job.. i guess great would not describe ur work... i was so carried away while reading tht... felt like i was watching it happening.. so lively..n ur words are just amazing...liked ur ending..life is not a fairy tale....guess thts why we call it real life... well i could go on n on...once again..marvellous piece.. hope to see more of ur work in future.. Good Luck!!
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Ardent
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Posted on 03-22-05 8:33
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Nirman.....ohhh...what a climax...i never expected that but i guess the ending surely justified the theme of the story LOVE:Unspoken. I enjoyed every words of your story and yah it was bit sad to see the end of this thread...but i hope u will keep writing in near future ....GREAT WORK DONE....hats off to U. Indisguise and Danny dai ..he he he ..thanx for ur well wishes...and Nirman too...he he he ...and SRISTI...the beautiful gal with killing eyes and long hair (yeh hawayee julfo main teri....he he he remember that??? ) ...thanx for all the kind words and compliments to me....and ya 3 years was quite long gap isn't it...... i was really surprised.........and now i hope u do more talking than staring ...he he he
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-22-05 9:20
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" I had never seen her eyes so sad before, I had seen pain, I had seen happiness, I had seen joy, but never that sadness. " Pain yet not sadness. Pain coz of her family's turmoil, but yet not sad, coz you were there. And I wonder, how those pained eyes must have spent infinite hrs in sadness & pain after you left. It just struck me. That phrase. A thin line separates both (pain & sadness) yet, it was so easy to understand. Damn Nirman, I always enjoyed this story, but the ending was so vivid, and intense that this, my friend, is one the very BEST piece that has EVER graced sajha. I MEAN it. And your title, ahhhh PERFECT. Love; unspoken is very hard. One feels like one's heart is wrapped in an air tight bag. Hard to breath. Chatpati huncha ni. Hehe. It's funny that how now, try as we may, we fail to feel the same emotion. Anyways, hope we can hear in between (& after) the line's. Like wot shez doin now, Ever met afta that and stuff. Your ending made this story a sajha epic. I bet hundreds of silent readers must have enjoyed the simple emotions you so vividly protrayed by your words. Bravo. IndisGuise:)
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Jasmeen
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Posted on 03-22-05 9:56
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Nirman da, Wonderful!! That was great. "Love without expectations". I agree. I was reading this right before my mid-term test. Couldn't stop myself. Sad that this has ended. Hope to see more from you. Keep writing. Jasmeen
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dreamz05
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Posted on 03-22-05 10:00
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Big applause.... again... actually... i m really satisfied with wht Indi wrote... perrrfect interpretation of how u felt after reading tht.... u got the words man.... i felt the same way but couldn't describe the way u did...k garne writing kala nai chaina jasto cha mero blood ma... sooo sad.... n nirman... could u plzz illustrate a lil more about tht grl.. did u meet her again??... non of my business... but juss outta curiosity...hehe .later
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