Condom says to Kotex,
"When you work,
I lose seven days of business."

Kotex replies,
"If you fail to work once,
my business stops for nine months

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"

Lol Freek ;o) good jokes

Ok let me share one, its pretty long though......

Once there was Banana, Cucumber and D#@k.... hehehe

-Banana said.. my life sucks myaan, first they undress me in public and they eat me with full pleasure and after eating they throw my clothes away :o(

-Cucumber said.... thats nothing compare to mine.. First they peel off my skin with a razor (which really hurts) then they cut me in small slices and drown me in a jar of vinegar forever until I die :o(

-D#@K said...Forget about you two.. mine is the worst, first they cover me with a tight mask (its so tight that i can't breathe) then they take me to a very dark room and bang my head so hard until i throw up everything.... ;o)

nice ones, here are my contributions:

Once an elephant sees a man naked.
Suprised the elephant asks the man, "How do u breathe through that?"

*******

A toothbrush says to a toilet paper, "I have the worst job in the world!"
Toilet paper, " Ya, right !!"
*********

Once an elephant sees youngbloodz naked.
Suprised the elephant asks the man, "How do u breathe ?"
yb says: asshole

Its a bit long but... then again its darn funny !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the uter
office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Johnny both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Johnny, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Johnny: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Johnny: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel
good.
Johnny: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Johnny: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Johnny: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten
questions wrong myself!"

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation of sex with his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?
His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed"
Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, f**k him?

ehehehe another one


A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")

What is long and hard, has a hole at the tip ,
and being inserted into a deep ,slimy,hairy hole,
can make u feel better?.............................
"Vicks Inhaler"

Shadi karna tha per kismat khuli nahi.
Taz- Mahal banana tha per mumtaz mili nahi.
Ek din kismat khuli shadi hui,Ab Taz-Mahal banana
hai, per mumtaz marti nahi!

A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her apartment and said: "tie me to the
bed and do what black men do best!"
so he ran off with the TV and VCD...

10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''

blone
A blond lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess?

A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.

A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.

And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.

THAT SON OF A BIT(H !!!


Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit(h."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit(h?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes,
father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl:
"Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."
Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "Ahh... Thats no reason to call him a son of a bit(h."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT(H!!!"

A bit long, but funny:

Son comes to his father and asks what politics is?
Father explains:
"In politics there are 5 main points
1. Economical power
2. Government
3. People
4. The country's future
5. Working class"

Son did not understand any of these, So father gave an example of his family.

Father: "You see son, I do business earn money for our family I am Economical power, Your mother administrates all the money and uses them, she is the government, you my son have needs, so you are the people, your little brother is the future and the maid who takes care of your brother is working class. So do you understand?"

Son "yes"

In the night the son hear his brother cry because he had sh*t in his pants, so he went to wake his parents in the night, he saw his mother sleeping and snoring. He went to wake the maid.
He saw his father fixing the maid through a key hole. He knocked on the door but no answer. He went to bed after several attempts.

In the morning.
Son:"I think I know what politics is now father."
Father: "That sounds good, try to explain to me in your own words"
Son: "While the economical power is screwing the work class, the government is just snoring and the people are completely ignored while the country's future is in deep sh*t"

Why do women always watch the porn till the end??

- Because they think the film ends with the wedding.

good one suyog keep on comming ;)