I had never been attracted to older women. Or blonde woman for that matter. I found both types to be pretty unattractive and frankly boring. That changed with Ginger.

"Hey, how have you been?" she asked the morning after I was back from vacation "I haven't seen you in a while. And you have new look! I like the goatee and long hair".

"Oh thanks" I said trying my best to conceal my embarrassment at the compliment. "I was on vacation" I replied steering the conversation away from my looks. I'd normally be quite pleased when I was the subject of conversation but coming from her I did feel a bit awkward, perhaps, because of the subliminal crush I had on her.

Ginger and I worked at the same place doing very different jobs. She was a technical writer and I a financial analyst. Her world was about explaining and sharing. Mine was mostly about assuming everyone knew what I knew and considering them dumb if they didn't.

We started bonding after one of the company happy hours. Over gin and beer, I came to learn that she went to high school in the same town in India that I did. Of course, her’s was the American school there, mine a mere missionary school and we went to school about 20 years apart. Originally from the Chicago suburbs, her dad worked for an engineering firm in Lebanon. Back then many American expats in the Middle East sent their children to boarding schools in India and then onto the American University in Beirut for college. She was a product of both places and had great stories to share about her time in India and the Middle East. She had even visited Nepal. Unfortunately, most of her memories of Nepal were about doing drugs and getting high.

She was in her fifties , was married, presumably happily, and was the mother of two kids. She must have been attractive when she was younger I thought. She had a slim body structure and shoulder-length blonde hair. Make-up concealed some wear and tear on her pinkish-golden skin. She was the last person on earth that could be compatible with the single, eligible and aggressive image I had of myself. But life sometimes plays out strangely. Over the next couple of months, between coffee breaks, lunch excursions and happy hours in local bars, our conversations became longer and deeper and we learnt quite a bit about each other's lives. You could say a chemistry of sorts was beginning to develop between us.

"What are you doing for lunch today" she asked "Want to go to the Korean place?"

Ever the methodical planner, I blocked an hour and a half off my calendar. I had known Ginger for a almost a year then and learnt that she was not as happily married as I had first assumed. She was divorced five years ago and her ex-husband had died in a skiing accident a year after that. Her eldest son had to go through prolonged therapy after his father's death. On more than one occasion I sensed what I thought was a faint exhaustion with life. However, I also observed that she had, incident after tragic incident, become stronger, more independent and developed the will to carry on.

She said that she was content with life now because her children were grown up and doing well and she didn't have to worry about them. She confessed that she very much enjoyed the freedom and independence she now possessed. For most of her life, she had been someone's daughter, wife and mother. Now she was just herself.

"I'm old enough to be your mother" she would often tease me.

"I don't see why that matters. I am not trying to marry you" I would jokingly retort.

"Hey, then find me a husband next time you go to Nepal" she would counter and give me that smug look so characteristic of her.

"You'll won’t survive beyond the second day with someone from that part of the world - and vice versa" I would tell her.

That day at lunch she ordered the Sushi special and I got the Udong Dol. "Did you meet any interesting Nepalese girls in DC?" she asked referring to the ANA convention I had attended there.

"Nah, there were some pretty ones there but I didn't meet anyone of my type"

"I'll can find you a good American girl if you want" she started teasing again.

"I won't be able to survive more than a few minutes with one" I said much to her amusement. My love life was one topic she could exhaust every time it came up. "Wanna play golf this weekend?" I had to change the topic in order to get back to the office on time.

It has been several years since I last met Ginger. I am not sure if I ever meant anything to her. Perhaps, I was just another know-it-all young analyst, who, like the countless others she had worked with before me, faded from her memories soon after they quit for greener pastures. I am not sure if I was truly attracted to her or merely fascinated by her life experiences. She seemed so complete back then. She never said a wrong word or made a wrong move. She had a charm and grace that would send many a man day-dreaming. Today, as I sit on the verge of settling down in life, I look back at all the broken hearts in my life - some were my hearts that others mercilessly stomped on, others were hearts I broke for reasons I don't care or dare to remember. I am ready to put most of those memories behind and move on but the memory of this one American woman still lingers. I wonder what my future wife will think when I tell her that I once was in love with a woman the same age as her mother. "Goree mem?"

---

he he he!! thapap :oP

"...don't ever think about running after 50 yr old guy... saying that we two have a same life style ni (O:..." lol.. you mean 50 yrs old WOMAN, rite???

Well..If you do anything make sure you have good explanation to prove it right. I will have to think if my explanation is good enough to cover my A$$.

lmao!!

CaMoFLaGeD, your analysis is superb. LOL.

Enjoyed your fiction, Sajha Gazer.

hmmm... reminds me of "Lolita", where a father falls in love with his step daughter.

Well, there is no boundary in love, they say. It can happen with anyone, anywhere and anytime! Not sure...

Good fiction!

Gazer bro,
Your story reminded me of a poem. I wrote it when I was made sick by someone like Ginger a while ago.

बेला बेलामा मलाइ अमेरिकन बिरामीले छुनी गर्छ,
किन किन आजकल आफू भन्दा बुढीमात्र मन पर्छ।

Cerine :Thanks for sharing. I might check out that movie soon.

DC Virus <:-)

Pretty, Mr Lonely : Thanks for your comments.

Nepali sahila : wah, wah, wah! :) That was indeed a good line .

mula loote, aafno story finish garnu chaina, arkako walla ma aaera lekhnu cha!
khai story finihs garya?
or maybe i shud go check...lolol

Gazer,
Bonjour. Comment allez-vous? Bon retour au Sajha!

The memories of Goree Mem still lingers huh! Surprise Surprise!!! I don't blame you. No one knows kab kispe dil ajaye. Have you already collected shatterd pieces of your heart? Hope you have become stronger than ever before, haven't you?

Nice narration. Hope you will accept the following lines as a compliment.
Jeevan se bhari teri batein
Majboor kare jinay ke liye!

Older men/women are indeed captivating and attractive in different way. they have this aura which is very hard to ingnore.. well Bacchan Sr. is still so attractive and SEXY. And how old is he now?..
... enjoyed reading your fictional story..
Keep it coming..

Vantage Point : I am doing very well, thank you :) As I said earlier, this *is* fiction. There really hasn't been any one person whose memories still linger. Maybe I am just a forgetful person who has no problems forgetting things including ex girlfriends ... he he he he ... =P

Jokes aside, thanks for the poetry - you have a knack for it. You should get published.

Ma Chameli : He must be in his sixties I think and I don't know how he is doing after his surgery last year - hope he gets back on his feet soon. But yes, admiration can sometimes lead to unexpected things. Thanks for your comments and have a good one.

Today, as I sit on the verge of settling down in life, I look back at all the broken hearts in my life - some were my hearts that others mercilessly stomped on, others were hearts I broke for reasons I don't care or dare to remember.
===========

sajha gazer,

i have already commented on this. but i am doing it again...hehe..spare me..
i loved those lines and they truly came from inside your heart, didn't they? i still hope this is a fiction..hehe...:P.

leg pulling apart, hehe, i checked few of your old stories and they were all so captivating and touching. put my name in your fan list, if you haven't done it yet... :)


good luck on your future endeavors!!


A friend and a fan
Loote

Loote : You're psychic, man! :) It would be dishonest for me to say this piece of fiction has no moorings in facts whatsoever. This write-up, like any other, I suppose brings up the age-old question about art (and literature) imitating life and vice versa.

I confess that I have, on occasions in the recent past, and in passing only, wondered about those broken hearts in my life. *But*, and this is a very important but, every one of those broken hearts, including mine, has been pieced together and thus I feel they were broken for the better .

But I reiterate, while this story was not written in a vaccum detached from reality, it is not my or any one person's story. It was intended to be and, as far as I am concerend , has always been just fiction. If there is any one fact in all of this, it is the line you quoted about how I felt. That's it. Most of the other stuff is the consequence of a bored person sitting in front of a keyboard during inclement weather ..LOL

To good life, mate.

hey sajha gajer,
the first thing I saw in sajha.com was your article (this one), saw all the replies. I had never thought one article would make me register in some web site. But it did!! To be true, for some reason, I did not like the story, but your presentation, needless to say, was good. I especially liked the one "Mine was mostly about assuming everyone knew what I knew and considering them dumb if they didn't." Hahaha...I think its funny. Anyways, this is my first reply in sajha.com...seems like a drug, the more u take, the more you get addicted...oh oh, the main reason I was writing this was to say that, I don't know how long you were with this woman(if that story is not just a fiction), but, if you had hanged out with her a little bit longer than you did, you would definitely fall in love with this woman...

nepali kaanchhi

Now he has an alternative ni: Nepali Kanchhhi. He may never remember that gori mem coz Nepalis mem are the best. Among them too, so young and cute like you.

AmriT

gazer bro...good to hear re?oho!testo nabhana hai..pheri ko makkha parla..and let himself type more..:o| sounds scary aint it?:o| ;oP hehe

anyways yeah..late..but u know me?errr dun u?:oS ;oP hehe..

pretty much these days( or was it always like this?:o| hehe..) gettn bit late..guess in some ways..its good?cos it makes me realise..one cant forget good things easily?;oP hehe..tho u cant really remember all the details?or the moment ..the feelns tht were aroused..at that moment?when u read a wonderful captivatin piece?that still reverberates now?even after some time has passed?hehe...

u said its fiction..so hopefully it is..if not the question will always linger..did she think of u similiarly the way u thot of her then?;oP hehe..u know our curiosity?needs to be appeased?if not..some new curiosity has to appear to make us forget our old curiosities?:oS hehe..

but yeah...after readin ur FICTION!made me realise..there was once a "Goree mem" in me life too!:o|...dyam u!!!made me remember!:o| hehe...oh well..as they say..our life can be described by adding all those fragmented pieces of fiction?duh!jpt deko!;oP hehe

those days..when hormones were pretty volatile and unstable?is it stable now?wahahaha ;oP hehe..

but yeah cheers for sharing..and makin me remember?;oP hehe...and are there more fictions on the way?(non fictions pani chalcha re kya ;oP hehe..)would be nice to know if there is any more comin :oD... not too far down the road ;oP hehe...

dyam if only it wasnt a fiction..i would have loved to wish for u that u get a chance to meet ur goree mem again :oD..but alas..i cant wish that for u?:oS hehe..i mean i def would love to meet me goree mem again..:oD..talk about the good old days..and of cos ask her...if i did look and sounded that bessotted with her then!?:o| hehe..

and oh yah..about the intro..

"i had never been attracted to older women. Or blonde woman for that matter."

dyam!!u never got brainwashed about the blondes?:o| i mean the character u created...never got brainwashed?:o| hehe...oh well sme brains are harder to wash eh?;oP hehe..ok beter not talk about this ;oP hehe..lame theories ke sunauney?;oP hehe..better stop before me 'comments's gets longer than article of urs?would be too ironic?;oP hehe..well we do need our fair share of irons?and ironies?;oP hehe..

anyways things downunder not too bad..has been sunny for 2 days now!!WOOHOOO!!!:oD...so cant complain much ;oP hehe...

hope things are good there..wherever u r ;oP hehe..

good day!:oD..

Apologies for being off the track! Anon it is likely that your mom's gonna kichkiching you soon!

Good day ya'll.

fliippu!!ur here!!:o|

oi dun bring me mum into this!:@...kichkiching re?why?:o| dyam!!!u just reminded me!!!i knew i was forgettn smthing!:@..i better ring her!!!!:o| mum!!not gorey mem duh!;oP hehe...

dhat if im thinkn correctly..flippu!!ke ke huncha ke!!tho u never expected it!:o| just a small crush and some surge of hormones esp in ur youth?isnt that part of growin up process?^o) u never had a crush with ur teacher or smthing like that?;oP hehe...no re!?:o| arghhhh!:oS


oh yah gazer bro dun mind me for the goin off track..mind flippu!!wahahahaahah ;oP hehe...

anyways yeah..hope u have a good day..with good moods..that will make u wanna type more ;oP..u know get inspired ;o) hehe..

good day!:oD

Will see ya later Anon and will explain! :@ Btw I was not talking about your real mum, your virtual mom I was talking about.

Gazerji, waiting to hear another episode from you soon.:)

Nepali Kaanchhi : Welcome to Sajha! :) Thanks for your feedback. To be honest, I wasn't expecting a lot of people to like this story as it deviates from normally acceptable ideas about romance and courtship (not sure if those were your reasons too or if you had other or more reasons). But I have to say I had a lot of fun putting this together. There is a certain thrill to putting unconventional behaviour into a plot, and I am not sure if this story came out to be any good, but I got quite a kick out of doing it. Wicked me I suppose ....LOL . Now that you have eaten the forbidden fruit by registering and posting, I hope we will see more of you in the days ahead :D

Anonymous : It is always nice to hear from you. You haven't changed a bit, have you - never short for words, huh? :D If you get to meet your 'mem', be sure to come back and let us know, ok? ;) ...he he he. About blondes, man, I don't know why, but I am very unattracted to them. Maybe it has something to do with conditioning in your formative years and I have yet to de-condition :)

Flip_Flop : Thanks for dropping by.